Friday, 17 August 2012

Ravellenic Games- Fail.

For the first time since the Ravellenic Games/Ravelympics inception, I couldn't finish my knit in time.


My parents were on vacation during this time, and I went to spend a week in Sudbury with them, so they could spend extra time with Lila. They were a great help, but even with all the extra support, the very real truth emerged- my knitting time is nowhere near what it used to be, or what I've imagined it to be.

I took it pretty hard, to be honest. I had been working on a new design and put it on hold for a couple weeks believing I could dash off this lovely sweater in the alotted time, since I've always been able to complete a sweater during the Olympics before.  But as the closing ceremonies began, and I had neither a finished design nor a completed Ravellenic Games sweater, I felt like failure. I cried. Because this was the clearest signal since little Lila came into the world- my time is not what it used to be.  Not in a bad way, but in a new way that I still have to adjust for. I'm not sure how I'm going to do that, but it's definitely something I have to mull over. And be much more realistic about how long it takes to knit or design something these days.

Next Ravellenic Games, I'll tackle a smaller project. Maybe it'll still be a sweater, but it'll have to be a Lila-sized sweater.

37 comments:

Magda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Magda said...

I'm sorry to hear that Julie. I'm not a mother, but I imagine little babies take a lot of the mother's attention (especially at the beginning, when you still adjust for the new role). I'm sure that when Lila gets a little bit older you will be able to devote more time to your beloved hobby. Or with time you will learn how to combine all these things. I really hope this will work out for you :)

Voie de Vie said...

Well, initially - I love how that is working up! What a great colorway.

Adjustment is no fun (and that has nothing to do with your little sweetie), but please don't feel you're a failure! Imminently human - absolutely. :)

katie said...

I'm sorry - adjusting to transitions can be so hard. I imagine a new baby is one of the biggest there is! You still got a pretty long ways on that sweater though and it's looking super beautiful.

Lete said...

Making tiny knits for the little one is a good way to keep knitting and feel satistied with the finished garment in a short time. It works for me, at least.
I also had huge plans, I even started designing a pullover the day before the delivery and... 4 months later I'm finishing the bottom hem and still need to make sleeves. But hey that's fine - all that time spent not knitting is spent enjoing family time instead. And this is what counts and what your kiddo is going to appreciate and there's no failure in that. :-)

R said...

Julie,

It's coming along very nicely! And don't stress about not finishing off on time. Douglas Adams said it best:

"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by."

Keep at it. Happy knitting,
R

Alana said...

HI Julie,

Your sweater looks so lovely even if it's not quite yet complete. This is something that I struggle with too. I often feel frustrated by how much less I am able to accomplish. But what I keep reminding myself is... when I look back on my life, I am going to remember how sweet it was when my children were small not that I finished up that sweater or work project.

It does get easier too. There will be lots of fast sweater knitting in your future... just give it time. :)

CelticCastOn said...

Can I just say that what you did accomplish was a heck of a lot more than I ever knit when T was that little. I was soo exhausted I spend most knitting time catching up on much needed zzzz. It's definitely an adjustment having a little one but like everyone said it does get easier once Lila has a rountine established. Just remember this time will fly by and before you know it she'll be walking and talking. Take it a day at a time and don't beat yourself up for taking care of your baby!

Zenitude said...

The knitting you've done on the sweater is beautiful. And your greatest success is that smiling growing-so-fast little Lila! Not a failure at all.

Maryse said...

Oh no, you should not feel bad for the Ravellenics since it's only supposed to be fun! Besides, you've accomplished a lot and this cardigan is going to be absolutely gorgeous! Have a great weekend!

zenasmillet said...

Wow, what a beautiful sweater! Is that TFA Chestnut?

I'm trying to think of words of comfort that don't sound like clichés, but can't really find any. So I'll offer an anecdote instead.

My oldest is 20 & moving-out next week to another city for a 4 month work-term. I miss him already. When he was 2 months old, I knit a matching sweater/bibbed pants outfit for him for Thanksgiving dinner @ my in-laws. I was spending most of the weekend with my own parents & my (somewhat peeved) Mom ended up watching over him for too long while I finished his outfit. The worse part is that the outfit was already too small by the time I finished it!

So bravo to you for NOT finishing either your design or sweater! Time flies by too fast. (oops, platitude alert!)

Silvia M. said...

Kids do change a lot of things but you're being too hard on yourself. You're not a failure at all, we all go through that stage of learning to manage our time in a different manner. Your sweater is looking great by the way, love the color too. :)

Erin Kate said...

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. My thoughts are with you!

Suze said...

Funny how babies do that! When my son (now 6) was born, my stash exploded. I think my expectations of what I wanted to knit far exceeded reality. I'm still trying to use up the yarn I bought then.

knittyornice said...

That's what happened to me too. I was pretty upset do I just stopped knitting for a while. I kept trying to force it and exhaustion would kick in. I've come to terms that now, I can knit a pair of socks in the same time that it used to take me to knit a sweater and that's ok. It gets easier, but it's soooooo hard to deal with at first.,

grandmastatus said...

You know what? It is really rough when you have a young child with you, and you should be really proud of how much sweater you DID complete. My son is now two and there are plenty more knitting opportunities than when he was Lila's size. I didn't even participate this year because with my new job I knew I would be setting myself up for failure. So be happy that you made goals, and took steps towards completing them. And next time make a baby sweater ;)

Melinda said...

I completely understand. My featherweight cardigan that I started in may is still on the needles and it's the only thing I've worked on all summer. I still have another 4-5 inches to go on the body. These days if I get 20 mins to knit I consider it a success.

Katie said...

I'm sorry you didn't finish on time, but I'm happy that you sweater is looking lovely! The yarn is beautiful, and I'm sure you'll find your new knitting rhythm soon.

PixieSam said...

I don't have children myself, so I have no words of advice for you. Just wanted to say I'm sorry that you weren't able to finish your sweater, and that it's looking gorgeous so far.

juniperjune said...

aww! the sweater looks great, though; what a perfect match of yarn & pattern! and as everyone has been saying, having a child is a HUGE adjustment and what you're going through is perfectly normal. :/

Odark30 said...

Julie, your glass is half full not half empty! You completed a cap sleeve sweater! Now you can modify your pattern to add optional sleeves:-)

Sarah said...

I think you just become the "Oscar Pistorius" of knitting and compete in both the games - the paralympics start in 10 days so you really have a whole month more to go! Parenting has taught me that my self-imposed deadlines are the most defeating ones. And you get to extend your Olympic fever til September 9th!

Jolene said...

I can completely comisserate -- and tell you that it will get better. Promise. When Izzy was Lila's age, I decided tn to buy all the yarn for a 3000+ yard Kandinsky Kimono. As a single mother. And one who had never knit anything as complex at that before. Completely delusional, right? Well, seven years later the 21 accent skeins became a log cabin blanket for my sister and brother-in-law. And another three years after that, most of the 17 skeins of black became a sweater for the then 10-year-old Izzy. You have most of a sweater knit in two weeks! With a baby daughter!! I bow in awe. (But completely understand how hard it is to reset expectations when kids enter the picture.)

Nat at Made in Home said...

Oh Julie, don't get upset! You can finish during the paraolympics, it is as huge in Britain as the Olympics, so surely it counts! And I am sure it will get better, and time spent with her now is so precious, you can knit all the time afterwards!!

cm said...

The transition from no kids to having kids is enormous but you are so busy looking after a little person that there is little or no time to reflect! It hit me like a tonne of bricks a couple of times in the early months... Kids are the beat teachers ;)

I really mourned my old life even as I embraced and celebrated my new one. It's okay to grieve for what you mIss and it doesn't mean you don't completely adore your child either. Your LO is lucky to have such a talented and cool mama :D

seeyouat5 said...

I didn't finished my Ravellenic project for the same reason...I'll definitely choose something tiny next time! But still it was fun to participate in the Games. I know it's hard I feel the same way as you do.
Kelly said about the routine- it's true! When my baby girl goes to sleep it's time for her mommy to knit!

erin said...

I didn't finish my knit either! for me, I rationalised not feeling too bad about that because I told myself it was just a challenge. I recently started a nannying job for twin 16 month olds, and while it's nothing like the constant care you are giving Lila, I know that it definitely zaps you of your energy. I know you'll finish soon, and the sweater already looks really gorgeous!

Flo~ said...

I'm such a slow knitter that I'd never finish a sweater--especially a long one like yours--in two weeks. Or anywhere near that timeframe. I'm childless and petless, so I don't have any excuses (unless a husband counts, but it probably doesn't).

Kee said...

Sorry that you didn't get to finish the sweater on time :( Your plan for next time sounds great, and I'm sure whatever you knit for your daughter will be adorable!

Nicole said...

Massive Hug. Welcome to Motherhood. Nothing can prepare you for the 'my-life-is-not-my-own' moment. But the feeling develops and then you don't know how to function unless you have someone demanding your attention. It took me two years to get to that point and then I had a second one. Holy Moley, that's another story.

erica-knits said...

Your sweater looks gorgeous, and it looks like you still completed the majority of it in the two week time period. Hey, it has taken me since the Knitter's Frolic to design a cowl(a cowl!). As you know, I'm still working on it! Don't be so hard on yourself, J. You're doing great.

Katelyn Jackson said...

I didn't learn to knit until my little one was about 6 months old. He's 2 now and it still takes me forever to finish anything. One reason is I'm a fairly slow knitter and the other is that even at two I get about an hour each day during nap time (maybe!) to knit. Adjustments definitely have to be made once children come into the picture. They just need so much from us. What you do have is beautiful - a partially finished sweater and a sweet little girl!

Eva said...

Don't you worry. I think you still knit loads! And I love that colour! :)

Jacey said...

I think what you're feeling is normal, but I know it still hurts. You get a lot done, and I'm sure you'll find a groove for yourself! <3

Cassy said...

That is a difficult change to go through. My heart goes out to you. I'm beginning to experience that as well, but Z is still a newborn so she's sleeping a lot. Your progress on that sweater is still commendable.

limescented said...

You're not a failure at all! I follow many other knitbloggers and the arrival of a baby always means their blogging frequency goes down, sometimes to zero (quite understandably!)

But you've managed to keep going as usual with no break... that's quite an achievement!

Good luck with that sweater, it looks so gorgeous already.

Geneviève said...

When I became a mother, it was both lovely and terribly difficult. Nevermind that you have to have the confidence to find what's right for your own family (breast vs bottle, sleep method, etc) and kind of break through everyone else's B.S., the hardest part for me was that I had lost so much autonomy. I chose to breastfeed til my little guy was 2, and although it decreased drastically over time, I found that as a modern, working woman who was used to doing things on my own time and my own rate, having someone need me all the time like that was hard.

You'll find your groove, if you haven't already, and your knitting, though perhaps slower, is still beautiful!